


roman candle heartbeat

by takeitlikeagem (rosesandcinnamon)



Series: maybe i just wanna be yours [6]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Human AU, Timeskips, growing relationship, ill add tags as i write things, oneshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/takeitlikeagem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jasper and Peridot certainly didn't start out as an adorable couple. <br/>It just kind of happened, somewhere along the line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sparksofwrite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparksofwrite/gifts).



> So, this intro piece was the first thing I wrote for Jasper and Peridot in my au, and I was still figuring them out, and basically, Alicia encouraged me way too much and now I'm here in ship hell.  
> But at the same time, she's the only reason my au has come this far, and I don't wanna be a trash person with anyone else. On another note, this title of this fic has been an inside joke with us, because I'm lazy and don't fix typos. 
> 
> Anyway, you can expect this fic to have multiple chapters, all loosely connected one-shots that expand on what's mentioned in this piece. I can't promise a regular schedule for those chapters, but I'm hoping it won't take me too long for most of it.

They don't act like a couple.

They're not affectionate at all, and Peridot has never let an "I love you" past her lips, and Jasper would rather be caught dead than be caught calling Peridot anything beyond the shortening of her name.

They're short and rude and abrupt with each other. Jasper is a horrible person, and Peridot doesn't delude herself to that. She also doesn't delude herself to the fact that once Jasper calms down, she's actually pretty great.

Still though.

Couples don't make out ONE TIME drunk and angry, with one hissing out a "I don't even like you", the other responding with "GOOD".

But, Peridot supposes, couples do shut up after being told that the other has a headache, and goes to get them a glass of water. They probably sit down and take every last pin out of the other's hijab just because they know their arms get tired doing it. They probably help their best friend bleach and dye their hair because they get pissed at their parents. They probably put up with the other's snoring, and write essays for them.

They probably laugh at the other's resting bitchface ("Come ON, Jasper, its a real problem!") and they probably keep away all the bigoted fucks who would love to let a Muslim girl know _exactly_ what they think.

They probably tell each other all their secrets in the dark of the night, and they probably never ever take out all those secrets to use against each other. Even if they want to.

It's not like Peridot would know, though.

It's not like she would know.

 

 


	2. unaffectionate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a piece i wasn't sure what to do with, but hey, here it is.

Peridot laid on her bed, iPad held up above her so she could read. Her phone, tucked into her sleeve, buzzed.

It startled her, and the iPad fell onto her stomach, knocking the wind out of her lungs.

She sat up slowly,  getting her breath back, and was very grateful no one- especially Jasper- had seen that.

To absolutely no one’s surprise, it was Jasper.

[cheato: come over?]

Peridot sat up, taking her bag off of the post of her bed. She shoved some things in it, more focused on just why Jasper had deviated from her normal typing style. She replied to the text as she left the house, thumb tapping out a quick “omw”.

Peridot walked quickly, phone tight in her hand. She passed children playing in the street, people on bikes, and dogs on walks. She contemplated sitting in the shade with her iPad sometime.

Whatever.

Jasper left the door unlocked for her, and Peridot went in quietly. She wasn’t on the couch, so she was in her room. Heading downstairs, she kicked her shoes off, dropping them in the hall.

Jasper sprawled across her bed, lazily scrolling through Netflix lists.

“You’re not playing Halo?”

“Got bored.”

“You’re not at the gym?”

She shook her head.

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?”

Jasper shrugged.

“Well then.”

Peridot forcibly shoved her back into a reasonable spatial limit, and climbed on the bed, sitting up against her pillows.

Jasper lifted her head to leave room for her, and then let it fall back down on Peridot’s thigh.

She bit her tongue, wanting to complain about how heavy her head was, but didn’t.

“What are you looking for?”

“Dunno.”

Jasper kept clicking, not even browsing through the movies, just the genres.

She came to the Gay & Lesbian Movies, and Peridot stopped breathing.

It felt like eternity in a second until she clicked again.

Pointedly avoiding the pit in her stomach, she leaned forward to look at Jasper.

"So why did you text me weird?"

"I texted you like a normal human being."

"Exactly."

"Can I not ask my best friend to come over because I'm feeling weird?"

"You can, I just want to know what's wrong."

Peridot stopped herself from brushing hair out of Jasper’s face, ignoring the feeling that made her want to, and sighed. 

“Okay.”


	3. exception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is definitely just a drabble dump, most pieces will be like this unless I've written them before.  
> This is, as you can tell, during their relationship, but mainly before "nothing is clear except for you".

Peridot is not known for being warm, or kind, or affectionate. It's not who she is, not at all.

It seems to be that Jasper is her exception.

But she's still a stubborn person, and no matter how cuddly and sweet Peri is to her, there are two things she doesn't do.

The first is public displays of affection. Literally just- put your tongues away. Stop. Stop it. Everyone knows you're dating. She likes simple touches, holding hands and a certain someone's arm on her shoulders. It's comforting, warm, and not completely obnoxious and embarrassing.

The other thing she doesn't do is tell Jasper she loves her.

That's because she's scared.

She does love her. She means more than anything else, and that's clear.

Jasper doesn't know she knows, but Jasper is a total romantic. It's just the truth, and it's adorable. She knows that Jasper loves sweet gestures, movie-worthy dates, and she does things like that for Peri because she wants to, because _she_ loves her, and God, it makes her so happy.

And Jasper doesn't say it either. Peri thinks she knows that she's scared, and is respecting her boundaries.

(She wishes she could tell her eighth grade self that the tall, annoying girl she didn't care for would become the only one she actually cared for.)

Peridot thinks "I love you" a lot. When Jasper falls asleep on her, when they're arguing over something so simple it's just banter, when they're driving home and all she can look at is Jasper's profile in the yellow light of the streetlamps.

She doesn't say it.

It takes her a long time, but after a late night and her girlfriend coming to get her, she knows she has to.

Maybe it's cowardly to text it, but that's the best she can do.

As it is with Jasper, she breaks her own rules.


	4. names

Jasper doesn't call Peri anything but her name.

She'd die before telling anyone, but Peridot is a perfect name, and Peri is an even more perfect nickname. She did call her Peridork when they first met, but that feels like it was a lifetime ago.

Something that makes her maybe a little too happy is that Peri doesn't let anyone else call her Peri. It's her full name or nothing, except for Jasper. And it's just- it makes her feel lucky. Peridot is the best thing that's ever happened to her, and she's very aware of it.

There's just one thing.

Jasper doesn't use pet names.

It's just her choice- they're impersonal, and don't mean anything to her. They feel wrong, almost _objectifying_ , and they remind her of her dad. Pet names are for gross couples, and they are anything but a gross couple.

Peri is better. It's sweet, and it sounds right.

She doesn't use Peridot very often.

Peridot is the only thing her parents call her, and she knows that might be weird for her. But when she's serious about something, she says it.

(Jasper hopes Peri doesn't mind that.)

There's not much nicknaming to be done with her own name, but when Peri's tired she calls her Jasp, and it sounds so gentle and quiet.

She loves her.

She won't say it, not yet, but she does.


	5. thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set directly after maybe i wanna be yours.

Peridot should sleep. She should really sleep, it’s late, and she’ll have to go home tomorrow and pretend like she’s the same person, as if nothing’s changed when _everything_ has changed.

Jasper’s parents went to bed hours ago, and the only sounds are the house settling, faint hum of the heating system, and distant passing cars. Some aren’t so distant, and the illumination of their headlights slip through the shades to flood Jasper’s room with light for a second or two before shutting off.

Her best friend, her _girlfriend_ , is warm next to her, curled towards her, knees pressed against her thigh in the most familiar way. Her breathing is even and steady and solid, exactly what she is for Peridot, and something in her chest is warm like she’s never known.

It’s ironic- here she is, months later, staring at a dark ceiling, dwelling on the same thing.

Then, it had been new, heart wrenchingly inconceivable, just an impossible idea. Jasper wouldn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, feel the same way about her, except she does. And now it’s still new, but it’s a soft feeling, the concept worlds away from what it used to be.

She sighs, deep from her chest. Jasper shifts on her side at the sound, and her fingers brush against Peri’s arm, voice gentle.

“You okay?”

She rolls over to face her, even if the light is too little to see.

“Thinking.”

It’s ambiguous. She knows Jasper knows that she gets weird late at night, but everything is too terrifying to vocalize. She’s so afraid that this is just a dream, a beautiful glimpse into feeling loved that could leave her feeling worse than ever.

“You think too much.”

Peridot laughs, shoves her face into her pillow because _yeah, I **know**_ , and Jasper’s hand follows the curve of her arm, resting on her back.

“C’mere.”

They move closer to each other, Jasper’s arm lying warm over her, and Peri feels secure.

This is allowed now. She can snuggle as much as she wants to and not have to justify it, it’s not weird if she wakes up without blankets and has to use Jasper as her heatsource. She could kiss her if she wanted to.

Her eyes close, but before she falls asleep, Peridot finds Jasper’s other hand to lace their fingers together.

 

 


	6. touches

Jasper is so gentle with her. She doesn’t know how she ever came to describe someone like her as soft, or sweet, but she’s grateful. More than she could ever say.

She does this thing- she doesn’t kiss her or be gross in public, which Peri appreciates greatly, but she’s still affectionate. Her arm has a home on Peri’s shoulders and waist, resting there just- whenever. She’s a warm and solid presence, and Peridot likes it. Loves it.

It’s not just about her arms, though. It’s about her hands. Wherever she sets them, her fingers never stay still. Normally, that would bother her.

But it’s so gentle, the way her fingertips draw circles on her skin, the soft back-and-forth she does when she’s bored, playing with the fabric of her shirt when they're alone. She doesn't tap, thankfully. When she has one of her hands, she traces the lines and knuckles and her own patterns on them, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Her fingers follow the lines of Peri's hipbone, her ribs, lazily covering her skin.

Peridot can never decide if she does it to be teasing, or if she doesn't even think about it. Either way, it's. So nice. Jasper is so good to her, comforting in ways she doesn't even know.

Peridot likes those touches because they say it all- quiet reminders that this is real, that she's there with her, and more.

She won't mention it, but she's so possessive, and Jasper is too. Those touches say "you're mine" and her allowance of them is a simple "I know" in response.


	7. waiting

Peri sighs, putting her head down into her book. She’s already tired, and waiting is not only obnoxious, but it’s boring too. She just wants Jasper to get home already.

\--

Jasper wants to go home. Practice is good and all, but it’s been a long day, and she’d prefer to be with her girlfriend. She finally showers and gets out to her car, sending a “omw” text before putting her phone away.

Her house is quiet when she comes in. Both of her parents are gone, and Peri left the door unlocked for her.

She jogs down the stairs, and the basement is just as quiet. There’s soft music from her room, the barely ajar door revealing nothing. Jasper goes in, seeing papers and folders on her floor in Peridot’s weird “organization method”, but nothing of her until she looks at her bed and tries to muffle her laughter.

Peri is dead asleep, face planted in one of her textbooks. One of her arms is draped across the bed, the other hanging over the side. It’s _hilarious_ , and Jasper’s smile widens when something occurs to her.

She takes a careful photo on Snapchat, capturing all her awkward sleepiness, saving it before putting it on her story. She takes another moment to stifle more laughter, glad to have finally caught Peri doing something funny.

Before Jasper goes over to her bed, she carefully puts the scattered papers into piles, trying to keep subjects and notes together. She does her best, and hopes it’s not too bad. With that done, changing doesn’t take long, and she looks at Peri, weighing her options.

She goes for it, slowly tugging the textbook from underneath her face. Peridot grumbles a little bit, but stays asleep, and Jasper exhales in relief. She closes it and sets it down.

But of course, her stubborn girlfriend had to lie down on the outside of the bed, and now she has to climb over her.

Thanks, Peri.

Jasper awkwardly moves around her, bed creaking softly in protest of the added weight. She manages it though, settling down on the other side.

Resting her head on a pillow, she closes her eyes, ready for a nap. But Peri sighs, and she reopens her eyes to see her rolling over, and burrowing straight into the fabric of Jasper’s shirt. It’s a silent “I was waiting for you”, and with a gentle arm over her waist, Jasper kisses her forehead, glad she’s still asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it's not clear, jasper gives peri her key sometimes so peri can just go to jasper's and wait there for her


	8. rude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Two things. My wonderful friend wrote for this series, and you should all read it [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4608759). The other is that school is starting soon, and I'm going to try to finish snowy days in the next few days so that I don't have to worry about updating. As much as I would love to keep writing like I have been, that may not be realistic. Good luck for those of you in the same spot as me!

Jasper is not a nice person. Everybody knows it, and especially Peridot. She’s even more of a bitch when she’s half asleep.

It’s her natural state.

Peridot puts up with it. But one night, it’s late, and Jasper is close to falling asleep. Her hair is braided back, wildness tamed into strands and woven together. She let Peri do it for once, enjoying her girlfriend’s hands in her hair. Now she’s resting on her thighs, head in her lap, listening to the strange noises the game being played on the iPad is making.

Peridot glances down, mouth opening, suppressing a slight sound. Jasper’s eyes are closed, her braid resting on her shoulder, and she just- she looks so happy. It’s not a look Peri sees a lot.

She likes it.

She sets the iPad down on her other leg, and gently touches the tip of her finger to Jasper’s nose.

“You’re cute.”

Jasper takes a moment to respond, face creasing in mild anger, but it’s weakly displayed.

“....fuck ooooffff….”

Peridot bites back a laugh as Jasper shifts grumpily, tilting her head.

Without moving her legs, she grabs her phone, opening Snapchat. She angles the camera so that her smile is in the top part of the frame, and Jasper’s sleepiness in most of it. She captions it “bae” and puts it on her story, looking back down.

“Jasper, do you want to sleep like that?”

As she grabs Peri’s legs, the answer is yes.

She leans forward, draping the blanket so it lies over Jasper and her own legs.

"You good?"

Peridot watches her face as she nods, burrowing closer. She can't help herself. She kisses Jasper's forehead, whispering a "love you" before turning the light off and settling down on a pillow that's definitely not hers.


	9. irritating

“Peridot, can I talk to you for a moment?”

She looked up at the teacher and nodded, marking her place in her book, heart beating a little faster in worry. Outside the classroom, her teacher sighed.

“I was wondering if you'd like to tutor a student. You'd have to work it out with her, but she needs the help.”

Oh. So that was all she wanted.

“Who is it?”

Even her teacher seemed reluctant to suggest it.

“Jasper.”

Peridot scoffed, glancing inside the classroom. Jasper was sitting at her desk, making a paper airplane out of notebook paper. She threw it at one of her friends, an equally lazy kid who tossed it back.

“Are you sure it’ll help?”

\--

A strained conversation with Jasper later, they sat in the library after school. Peridot was ready to begin, paper and pencil out. Jasper, however, was not so prepared.

“Where are your science notes?”

“Don't have them.”

“Math?”

A shrug.

“Health?”

Jasper laughed, harsh and short.

“As if.”

Peridot sat for a moment, seething.

“Why are you here?”

“What do you mean?”

“You obviously need more than some studying. You don't seem to want to put the work in. Why are you here?”

Jasper rolled her eyes, annoyed, and replied, “If I fail, I can't do any sports. Trust me, I've tried to get out of it.”

“Why should I help you? This is a waste of my time.”

It gets her attention.

“I- Because.”

They stare at each other, refusing to back down.

“Because why?”

After a moment, Jasper looked down.

“I know I'm bad at school. And you're really good,” she said, implication of "I need help" hanging. She wouldn't say it.

Peridot didn't reply for a moment, fighting with herself. 

“Fine. I'll type up notes for you, but after that you have to take your own. I can't work with nothing. We'll talk tomorrow.”

She took her things, leaving Jasper alone.

\--

Jasper slammed her bag down on the table, slumping into a chair.

“Hey, Peridork.” 

“Hello, Jasper. Did you take notes like I asked?”

“Yeah, they probably suck though.”

Jasper slid papers to her, and they did... suck. Her handwriting was awful, the notes weren't even grammatically correct, or spelled right. 

“It's a start.”

She knew her face must be scrunched up, because Jasper laughed.

“Sure.”

“That aside- What's hardest for you?”

“I don't know.”

“Fine. What are you closest to failing in?”

“English.”

“Why?”

They sat and talked, Peridot beginning to understand what was happening with Jasper. It was hard to get through to her, and she had to hide her twitching fingers underneath the table. Jasper began to lighten up as they got to know each other, and it became easy to work with her. 

Later, Peridot was amazed that Jasper could mean so much to her after how they started.


	10. headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To fill the prompt "Couples don't make out ONE TIME drunk and angry,", my friend wrote [this fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4608759). Give it a read!

Jasper is a very enthusiastic person. Peridot loves her. She's loud and rude and obnoxious, but it makes her smile. 

Except when she has a headache that throbs with every word Jasper throws at her video game.

"What the fuck! I totally had that, fuckin’ Christ-"

Peridot winces, setting her tablet aside.

"Jasp?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a headache, can you keep it down?"

Jasper immediately pauses her game, setting her controller down and leaving the room.

Peridot doesn't know what she's doing, but she's glad it's quiet. She returns quickly with a glass of water that she presses into her hands, kissing her head gently with a  "should have told me earlier, Peri".

Jasper sits back down, grabbing the remote and turning the volume down, playing her game again in silence. Peridot sips the water, watching her. There’s a smugness deep in her chest sometimes, when Jasper’s so sweet to her, because it’s  _ only to her _ , and she likes it for- numerous reasons.

But for now, she just wants to sleep this headache off, and her girlfriend is looking especially warm and comfortable today.

“I’m gonna nap on you.”

Jasper glances at her with a slight smile.

“Finish your water.”

Peri nods, downing it, and sets it on the floor before moving across the couch. Jasper moves her arm for her, and Peridot curls up, head on her chest and legs sprawled out on her other side.

Her arms are warm around her, heartbeat loud and steady.

She falls asleep to the sound, Jasper continuing to play her game quietly.


	11. you're my achilles heel

Jasper loved running. She loved the beat of her feet against the ground, cold morning air in her face. The dawn sky was beautiful, and the chill against her warm skin was nice.

But the best part- it was never a new time, or the hot shower afterwards.

It was Peri, asleep in their bed. She always curled herself around Jasper’s pillow, face buried in it. Her hair would spread across several pillows, and she nested in the blankets if they were untucked. She was so peaceful in her sleep, lines of stress gone from her face. Jasper could have sworn Peri smiled when she came in every morning, checking on her before a shower.

One type of morning, though, was her favorite: ones when she could go back to bed. She showered, tying her wet hair up in a bun and drying off so she could put her clothes on. The humidity carried the smell of her shampoo, the light from the rising sun coloring their bedroom softly, and it was nice to hear the birds chirping outside. It was just nice, to know that this was her life. That she lived with the one person she loved, that they were  _ happy  _ after so much. 

Peri mumbled at her when she got back into bed, grip on the pillow tightening. Jasper laughed, arm slipping around her. 

“Good morning.”

She received another mumble, and hair in her face as Peri nestled further into her blankets. Jasper only smiled, resting her head on Peri’s shoulder. 

They slept curled into each other. Peridot only woke when the sun was in her face, and she turned to face Jasper. She was already half awake, sleepily smiling at her. 

Peridot looked at Jasper’s face, lit golden by the sun and gorgeous. She searched for her hand in the blankets, lacing their fingers together. 

“I love you.”

Jasper smiled, leaning forward to kiss her.

“I love you too.”


	12. "god, my girlfriend is hot"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, a year later. And I'm still writing for these ridiculous characters. Happy birthday, Alicia. Love you.

Jasper really just wanted a new hoodie. Peri had stolen all of hers, and the new one would inevitably go to her at some point. But after finding the hoodie, and managing to find one in her size, Jasper wandered around the clothing department. And she found it.

It was an alien print shirt. She was absolutely certain that Peri would love it. She had this weird thing for aliens. It was probably connected to her weird thing for space. Man, Jasper loved her and her weird things. Smiling, she picked up the shirt. It was perfect, except- it was a crop top. She knew Peri's definition of modest was pretty strict. Peri would never wear a crop top- besides the modesty, she didn't like her stomach. (Jasper thought it was perfect and adorable, but Peri didn't listen.) Conflicted, Jasper stood there for a moment. Oh! She'd just buy it a few sizes too big! Then it would hang lower and cover more. Pleased with herself, Jasper looked in the rack for a larger size. She found the shirt, and added it to her pile. 

\--

“Peri!”   
She looked up from her book, smiling at Jasper. “Did you get your hoodie?” Jasper held her arms out, displaying the new jacket. 

“Yup! And something else!”

She sat down next to Peridot, handing her the bag. She opened it, and gasped when she saw the shirt. “Oh my god.” Jasper’s foot shook on the floor, waiting for more of a reaction. “Jasper, I love it! I’ve been looking for a shirt like this forever!” She put the shirt back into the bag, and turned to give her girlfriend a hug. Jasper pulled her into her lap, sunny grin on her face. She held her for a moment, before letting go and leaning back. 

“Put it on!”

Peri laughed, pulling her cardigan off and sitting at Jasper’s side. While she was there next to her, Jasper made sure to kiss her shoulder. Peridot put the shirt on, standing up to show it off, and it was perfect. Jasper told her so, and she settled back in her lap.

\--

Shit, shit, shit, Jasper was running late, and she just had to pick up what was on the floor and  _ go _ . When she was got out of the car, she realized her mistake. She had grabbed jeans that weren’t high-waisted, and a crop top. Not just a crop top, but  _ Peri’s  _ crop top. The alien print one. That barely went over her chest. She sighed deeply, heading into her class.

Looking in the mirror, she understood how bad it was. Her entire torso was exposed, highlighting her hips and muscles. The shirt that was loose on Peridot barely fit on Jasper, and she didn’t know what to think. She sent a photo to Peri.

[Jasper: Got dressed in the dark ://]

She didn’t receive a reply for a few minutes. 

[peridorito: holy Shit]

They texted back and forth, Peridot insisting that Jasper keep the shirt. “for the good of me. no one else. just me,” one text read. It made her laugh, and they kept texting until the class turned into some hands-on work. 

When Jasper got home, Peridot was certainly appreciative of the crop top. So appreciative, in fact, that Jasper kept the shirt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you're curious, Jasper becomes a mechanic, so she's in trade school. That should pop up in my sweetest downfall sometime.


End file.
